Pinwheels

February 21, 2011
One of the most thankful ideas that I received from a fellow mother of an angel was the pinwheel. You have two matching pinwheels. One is in our front yard by the tree that you like to "play" beside. The other is by your grave. It connects us. I love that feeling.

Today is a windy day. This makes me smile a big smile. I wonder if your pinwheel is blowing? Maybe you are proud of me for being brave at my first day back at school. It was a great morning with the kids. I visited your grave right after school and boy oh boy were you blowing hard! 

I wanted to cry and be sad. I don't want to cry to others, I'm certain they are tired of it. But I don't want to cry alone, it makes me feel out of control. Instead I just hold it in. Ugh, sometimes that just makes you feel worse. 

Love, 

Mommy