Today I call my Idea Day! I have fallen in love with Carly's blog. She is the sweet young lady who does the "Names in the Sand" sunset pictures. She also created a day called International Bereaved Mother's Day. It is the first Sunday each May, so this year it will be on May 1st. On her blog, she encourages others to hold events, even if it is just you and a few friends.
On my walk today with Beatrice, I thought of all the love notes my sweet baby has sent me: the shooting star on our way home from the hospital, the sun coming out from behind the clouds choosing his burial plot, the ladybug on the seashell, and the apple. That's when it hit me: let's send some love notes back!
A balloon launch. We'll write notes to Charles Patrick, roll them up and stick them in the balloons, fill them with helium, and send them to Heaven.
I thought about opening this up to everyone and creating an event on Facebook, but that made my heart flutter. I don't think I'm ready to do something so public yet. I'm still struggling with so much anxiety. I know a lot of people who have lost children who would love to send their babies notes too, but again, I think I'm too scared to create an open event. I don't know. Maybe. Something in my heart says, maybe. Is that you, baby boy? I don't know if I can do it. I'm just not strong enough yet. Maybe next year. But for now, I love brainstorming all these beautiful ideas!
Love,
Mommy
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