God is Real

September 12, 2012
I have to tell you the most amazing thing, Charles Patrick. My last journal entry was about some dreams  I had before we found out you had Trisomy 18. They were frightening dreams. I write this journal entry a few days later because once again I had a dream. I didn't write about it the morning I had the dream because the meaning of it did not manifest itself until today. God is REAL! I can't wait for you to hear this beautiful story, my boy. Believe my every word because I am telling the most honest truth.
I've already mentioned that I have very vivid dreams. Pregnancy enhances those dreams even more. I still remember every detail of this dream as if I just woke up from it. I dreamed that Daddy and my bed were in your room, the nursery. Beside the bed was our bedside table. On the table were a pair of your shoes, a very small pair of blue shoes. I heard something coming from the room so I slowly walked to the bedroom and opened the door. It was raining on the bed, yet no where else in the room was wet. The bed was not getting wet, yet it was raining right upon it. I was so amazed at the sight. I looked at the ceiling and watched the raindrops fall meticulously from the top of the room onto the bed. It was also raining inside your tiny shoes. The shoes were filled with water, yet there was still no wetness anywhere around the shoes. The raindrops fell carefully into the shoes and filled them to the brim without overflowing. I reached my hand out over the bed and allowed the rain to fall into my hand. I stood there speechless at this wonder. I even took two fingers and dipped them into your shoes and marveled at the wetness I felt on my fingertips. How it could rain in our room, in your shoes, yet there was no wetness anywhere else about me was just bewildering.
When I woke from my dream, I honestly felt such a peace. I remembered each detail and thought on it often. I couldn't understand the dream, yet I enjoyed the dream so much. This morning, I woke up early to study my Sunday School lesson. One of the focus scriptures for the lesson was from the Old Testament Hosea 6:3...

"The Lord....shall come unto us as the rain."

You hold hands with the Lord. And I am speechless.
Love,
Mommy